Oh Fox News – the gift that just keeps on giving. I try to stay off their site because they just make it too easy… it’d be like if I were a hunter (and I’m not) and I did all my hunting at a game preserve where they kept the birds under lock and key until right when I got to that spot and then they flushed them out in front of me… and yet, I still ended up shooting my hunting partner in the face. That’s a good enough analogy for what has happened as President Obama has won a second term without anyone officially saying who won Florida and it’s 29 Electoral Votes (and it looks like Obama will be declared the winner of Florida) when Fox news posts an article that neither blames Mitt Romney for losing nor credits Obama for winning. Instead, it’s the mainstream media that unfairly influenced the election with their liberal bias while forgetting that Fox is part of the mainstream media. Read the rest of this entry
I had planned an entire series of “I’m voting for Obama” posts, but Hurricane Sandy screwed that up. Anyway, here is the penultimate post on why I’m voting for Obama.
(Unfortunately, I don’t have time to unleash the humongous essays on various issues I had planned, so I’m only providing the Cliff Notes version on limited topics.) Read the rest of this entry
During the first presidential debate (I’m only one debate behind – awesome!) Governor Romney mentioned that while he did love Big Bird, if he were elected president, he would stop the subsidy to PBS. This comment has inspired me to do two very scary things: 1) look up details on government spending and 2) math.
In case you missed Romney’s quote from the debate, here it is, in all of it’s out of context glory:
“I’m sorry Jim, I’m going to stop the subsidy to PBS. I like PBS, I actually love Big Bird. I like you too, but I’m not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from China to pay for.”
Obviously, this photograph is hilarious. The girl looks pleasantly surprised while Mitt Romney is wearing more of a “I built that” sort of look on his face. So, while I’m sure the options are limitless, I prefer to maintain that the young lady was pleasantly surprised by the ample junk in Governor Romney’s trunk. Badonkadonk.
The caption “The GluteBoost is working!” comes to mind because of this “news” story, in which a 61-year-old teacher named Ellen Vick reported that a student put something in her coffee cup. My understanding is that investigators believe that a student put three capsules of GluteBoost into her coffee, and apparently, GluteBoost is an “All Natural Buttocks Enhancement Supplement.” That is awesome. Apparently, the kids like a big ass and certainly believe that it is never to late too tap dat. WORD.
HIT THE MUSIC!!!
Who would have guessed that Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney would be so hilarious? The dude is straight up funny, and that’s no lie. Here are some of his funniest lines from the campaign trail.
Since he’s already done the “Romney’s Mouth, Meet Romney’s Foot – Statement Edition,” I guess he thought another round was due. I imagine that right about now, President Obama is sitting in a room, consulting a calendar. “Hm… it’s not my birthday, it’s not Christmas… Well, either way, I guess I should call Mitt Romney and thank him for his thoughtful gift.” Read the rest of this entry
Politicians must text, right? It’s a standard mode of communication these days and I’d have to imagine it’s an invaluable tool during the constant on the go of a presidential campaign. Here’s what I imagine the texts exchanged between Mitt Romney and his campaign manager look like.
Also, 10 bucks says Mitt uses a Blackberry.
So… let me see if I can understand this.
Mitt Romney has chosen Paul Ryan to be his running mate. When I heard this, I said, “Who? Oh, wait… now I remember – that fucking guy? That’s crazy.” Read the rest of this entry
Rick Santorum can run around with his hair on fire telling everyone how he won the Alabama And Mississippi primaries, but a closer look at the numbers reveals his boasts to be wild exaggeration. Sure, Santorum spent less money than Mitt Romney, but this isn’t a foot race, and the former Senator needs to realize that.
In Alabama, Santorum scooped up 34.5% – meanwhile, Newt “I can’t believe I’m still in the race, either” Gingrich took 29.3% and Romney took an even 29%. Without a doubt, Santorum won, but it’s not like he cleaned Romney’s clock by 10+ percentage points. I’m also fairly certain I read somewhere that Romney didn’t campaign in Alabama…
The Mississippi numbers are even closer: 32.8% for Santorum, Gingrich in second again with 31.2% and Romney bringing up the rear with 30.6. When the spread’s less than 2.5 points, the phrase “narrow victory” comes to mind. Also, check out the balls on Gingrich: “If you’re the front-runner and keep coming in third, you’re not much of a front-runner.“ Err… you know you didn’t come in first in anything last night, right?
Here’s the real problem: the Republican primary is no longer a winner take all contest – just because you win a state doesn’t mean you get all of the delegates, and given that the contests have all been relatively close, it’s a fair to guess that the delegates will be divided up fairly evenly. And even worse for Santorum and Gingrich, they’re way behind Romney in the delegate count, so dividing delegates nearly even with him isn’t a great way to eat up his lead.
As you can see, Romney is handing Santorum his ASS in total delegate count. A 243 delegate count lead over your closest rival is a fairly significant beating, and while I understand that there are 1358 delegates left for the taking, it’s hard to believe that Santorum will ever be able to catch Romney, especially if about 30% of voters in Mississippi & Alabama are willing to vote for a Mormon. If Santorum can’t blow Romney out in these states, then he’s never going to catch up.