Blog Archives

Obama Wins Second Term, Fox News Credits Mainstream Media


Oh Fox News – the gift that just keeps on giving. I try to stay off their site because they just make it too easy… it’d be like if I were a hunter (and I’m not) and I did all my hunting at a game preserve where they kept the birds under lock and key until right when I got to that spot and then they flushed them out in front of me… and yet, I still ended up shooting my hunting partner in the face. That’s a good enough analogy for what has happened as President Obama has won a second term without anyone officially saying who won Florida and it’s 29 Electoral Votes (and it looks like Obama will be declared the winner of Florida) when Fox news posts an article that neither blames Mitt Romney for losing nor credits Obama for winning. Instead, it’s the mainstream media that unfairly influenced the election with their liberal bias while forgetting that Fox is part of the mainstream media. Read the rest of this entry

I’m voting for Obama: Part 2


Barack Obama 2008I had planned an entire series of “I’m voting for Obama” posts, but Hurricane Sandy screwed that up. Anyway, here is the penultimate post on why I’m voting for Obama.

(Unfortunately, I don’t have time to unleash the humongous essays on various issues I had planned, so I’m only providing the Cliff Notes version on limited topics.) Read the rest of this entry

How much does Big Bird cost?


mitt-romneyDuring the first presidential debate (I’m only one debate behind – awesome!) Governor Romney mentioned that while he did love Big Bird, if he were elected president, he would stop the subsidy to PBS.  This comment has inspired me to do two very scary things:  1) look up details on government spending and 2) math.

In case you missed Romney’s quote from the debate, here it is, in all of it’s out of context glory:

“I’m sorry Jim, I’m going to stop the subsidy to PBS. I like PBS, I actually love Big Bird. I like you too, but I’m not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from China to pay for.”

Read the rest of this entry

Girl to Romney: “The GluteBoost is working!”


mitt-romney-bends-down-in-front-of-school-girl

“Did you ever see that episode of Diff’rent Strokes “The Bicycle Man?” Never mind…”

Obviously, this photograph is hilarious.  The girl looks pleasantly surprised while Mitt Romney is wearing more of a “I built that” sort of look on his face.  So, while I’m sure the options are limitless, I prefer to maintain that the young lady was pleasantly surprised by the ample junk in Governor Romney’s trunk.  Badonkadonk.

The caption “The GluteBoost is working!” comes to mind because of this “news” story, in which a 61-year-old teacher named Ellen Vick reported that a student put something in her coffee cup.  My understanding is that investigators believe that a student put three capsules of GluteBoost into her coffee, and apparently, GluteBoost is an “All Natural Buttocks Enhancement Supplement.”  That is awesome.  Apparently, the kids like a big ass and certainly believe that it is never to late too tap dat.  WORD.

HIT THE MUSIC!!!

Mitt Romney, budding standup comedian


mitt-romney-laughingWho would have guessed that Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney would be so hilarious?  The dude is straight up funny, and that’s no lie.  Here are some of his funniest lines from the campaign trail.

Read the rest of this entry

Romney’s Mouth, Meet Romney’s Foot – Video Edition


mitt-romneySince he’s already done the “Romney’s Mouth, Meet Romney’s Foot – Statement Edition,” I guess he thought another round was due.  I imagine that right about now, President Obama is sitting in a room, consulting a calendar. “Hm… it’s not my birthday, it’s not Christmas… Well, either way, I guess I should call Mitt Romney and thank him for his thoughtful gift.” Read the rest of this entry

“Of course you realize this means war” (or: seriously, I’m pissed at Mitt Romney)


mitt-romneyI like to poke fun at Mitt Romney as he’s someone I genuinely disagree with.  Now, his status as “someone I genuinely disagree with” has changed after the events of the last few days, which I will briefly recount in the order they occurred. Read the rest of this entry

Random Texts Sent Between Mitt Romney and His Campaign Manager


mitt-romneyPoliticians must text, right?  It’s a standard mode of communication these days and I’d have to imagine it’s an invaluable tool during the constant on the go of a presidential campaign.  Here’s what I imagine the texts exchanged between Mitt Romney and his campaign manager look like.

Also, 10 bucks says Mitt uses a Blackberry.

Read the rest of this entry

Oh Republicans, you so CRAZY (Or: Why Ryan and Christie?)


So…  let me see if I can understand this.

Mitt Romney has chosen Paul Ryan to be his running mate.  When I heard this, I said, “Who?  Oh, wait… now I remember – that fucking guy?  That’s crazy.”  Read the rest of this entry

Santorum Wins Alabama And Mississippi, But He Didn’t Win Much


Rick Santorum can run around with his hair on fire telling everyone how he won the Alabama And Mississippi primaries, but a closer look at the numbers reveals his boasts to be wild exaggeration.  Sure, Santorum spent less money than Mitt Romney, but this isn’t a foot race, and the former Senator needs to realize that.

alabama-mississippi-hawaii-republican-primary-2012

In Alabama, Santorum scooped up 34.5% – meanwhile, Newt “I can’t believe I’m still in the race, either” Gingrich took 29.3% and Romney took an even 29%.  Without a doubt, Santorum won, but it’s not like he cleaned Romney’s clock by 10+ percentage points.  I’m also fairly certain I read somewhere that Romney didn’t campaign in Alabama…

The Mississippi numbers are even closer:  32.8% for Santorum, Gingrich in second again with 31.2% and Romney bringing up the rear with 30.6.  When the spread’s less than 2.5 points, the phrase “narrow victory” comes to mind.  Also, check out the balls on Gingrich:  “If you’re the front-runner and keep coming in third, you’re not much of a front-runner.”  Err… you know you didn’t come in first in anything last night, right?

Here’s the real problem:  the Republican primary is no longer a winner take all contest – just because you win a state doesn’t mean you get all of the delegates, and given that the contests have all been relatively close, it’s a fair to guess that the delegates will be divided up fairly evenly.  And even worse for Santorum and Gingrich, they’re way behind Romney in the delegate count, so dividing delegates nearly even with him isn’t a great way to eat up his lead.

republican-delegate-count-march-2012

As you can see, Romney is handing Santorum his ASS in total delegate count.  A 243 delegate count lead over your closest rival is a fairly significant beating, and while I understand that there are 1358 delegates left for the taking, it’s hard to believe that Santorum will ever be able to catch Romney, especially if about 30% of voters in Mississippi & Alabama are willing to vote for a Mormon.  If Santorum can’t blow Romney out in these states, then he’s never going to catch up.

more Election 2012 at creativejamie.com/category/election-2012/

Republican Primary Results That Don’t Count For Anything From States Where Republicans Don’t Live, Vote Or Care


Whew!  That title just rolls right off your tongue!

This post is all about numbers, but don’t let that scare you off.  I hate those smug bastards, but sometimes, simply looking them over and seeing which ones are small and which ones are big can tell us a lot.

For example, Minnesota is 21st in population in the United States with a count of 5,303,925 in 2010.  Colorado is 22nd with 5,029,196 and Missouri is 18th with 5,988,927.  But apparently, either no Republicans live there, don’t vote, or they don’t show up for elections that don’t count for anything.  Or they think the candidates suck.

That’s right, folks; apparently, the Republican Primaries in Colorado, Missouri and Minnesota not only had fairly low turnout, but they’re not awarding any delegates to the winner – so I guess all of this means nothing as the states have not awarded delegates to any of the candidates, meaning until they do, we don’t know who they’ll vote for at the Republican National Convention.  Apparently, this is all tied to these states having their elections too soon, but what this means for awarding their delegates, I don’t know, and who cares?  Nobody voted anyway.  Here are the results:

colorado-minnesota-missouri-primary-results-2012

The only thing that annoys me more than the Electoral College is the way we pick candidates.  This is pathetic!  In Colorado, a total of 66,027 showed up.  In Minnesota, which we already noted has slightly more residents than Colorado, only 48,695 could muster up the courage to hit the polls and in Missouri, 251,868  got those classy “I voted!” stickers.  Now that’s a lot more than Colorado or Minnesota, but as I always like to point out, Brooklyn has a population of 2,504,700, so I don’t see any of these guys doing very well in a race for Borough President.

Yet the most shocking thing of all is that Rick Santorum swept the day!  And, when you google his name, spreadingsantorum.com is now downgraded to the 4th option in natural search results, so things are all coming up Rick!

santorum-google-result

Your damn right I +1'd it. Man, Google - that is one awkward expression you've got there.

So I guess Santorum is the latest flavor of the month in the “Anybody But Mitt Romney” parade and as Newt Gingrich didn’t finish any better than third in all three races, he is of course not dropping out.  Why would he drop out now?  He only failed to capture anything worth reporting in the state where the most people showed up to vote in an election where you essentially just had to show up and shake hands with the 12 people voting at each precinct…

Well, I guess it’s time for Mitt Romney to tear into Rick Santorum with a wave of negative ads from his Super PAC that he can’t control, so get ready, Maine – you’ve got some commercials coming your way concerning why a frothy mixture won’t make a good president.

more Election 2012 at creativejamie.com/category/election-2012/

South Carolina Debate, Ya’ll!


I watched most of last night’s Presidential Debate in Charleston (?), North Carolina, hosted by CNN – you might have noticed it was hosted by CNN as they brought a few thousand CNN signs to decorate the stage with. If you’re wondering who won, I have no idea – for the most part, I thought each candidate received equally positive reactions from the crowd. OK, Ron Paul was lagging behind, but when he doesn’t agree with the crowd, he’s not afraid to tell them so – this strategy does not win you Presidential elections. Nevertheless, the crowd really seemed to enjoy themselves – the exit polling data indicated that every attendee was very excited to vote for… one of the Republicans.

Newt Gingrich was disgusted that the first question of the night concerned the interview his second wife had given NBC that same day. He might not think his personal life is relevant (particularly since he maintains his second wife’s claims concerning Newt asking for an open marriage are not true), but when you’re having an affair with a member of your staff while you’re impeaching the President for lying about an affair he had with a member of his staff… well, that’s a horse of a different color, ain’t it? I think it is. Still, I don’t care about the infidelity – that’s none of my business, although it does call your character into question. What does concern me is the hypocrisy the man bathes in, like a dateless kid wearing too much cologne at the junior prom.

I’m surprised how effective Newt’s badgering of Mitt Romney and his tax returns has been – Mitt seems to be a bit on edge. I don’t know why Mitt won’t release the documents, but I suspect it has something to do with Mitt’s strategy of trying to relate to the common man despite being a multimillionaire. (Or is it billionaire? I forget.) Does Mitt really think we’ll view him differently if we know how much he’s worth? Or, more to the point, view Mitt differently then Newt? It won’t matter, because Newt and Mitt are both rich guys – who cares which one is richer? In 2005, the average median income was $32,140 for people over the age of 25. Newt Gingrich made over $2 million dollars last year alone. If Mitt is worth a hundred times Newt’s 2011 earnings, does that make Newt more relatable to the average American? I think not – they’re just two rich guys.

So choose your rich guy wisely, South Carolina – or just vote for Herman Cain.

more Election 2012 at creativejamie.com/category/election-2012/

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 555 other followers

%d bloggers like this: