Category Archives: observations
things I see and must speak on, son!
Florida based Ron’s Jons portajohns is clearly missing their calling. They shouldn’t be hauling shit around (See what I did there?), they should be making clever signs! Read the rest of this entry
Hey, South Africa, uhm… let’s work on this. Read the rest of this entry
I’m a fan of screenwriter Max Landis (Twitter handle @Uptomyknees) and a few weeks ago, it occurred to me that I could probably follow him on Twitter, so I did. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised he’s a frequent Tweeter, but brother, can that guy ever Tweet. He’s the Tweetest Tweeter whoever Tweeted.
If you use WordPress for the backend of your site, you should be familiar with the spam content feature because if you do any traffic at all, you’ll get spam comments. They’re not always this obvious – they’re usually more of the, “Hello, this post is very informative and I will be sure to bookmark it for future reference” or something like that, but with lower grammar standards. Then you get these, a keyword stuffer from the late 1990s, selling a product that’s totally irrelevant to the post. Read the rest of this entry
Sega does what Ninten-Don’t (no, not stay a viable video game console company) – they use euphemistic language in their ads. They’re not the first to make the “you’re playing with your joystick” joke, but they were probably the last because now we have the Playstation Motion Controller, and it doesn’t get any more obvious than that.
Friends, I have seen THE FUTURE! It is out there, vibrant and ripe for the harvesting! Go to the Paramus Park Mall and ride the motorized animal scooters! Read the rest of this entry
Sometimes I’ll hear something on WNYC radio that’s so awesome I have to stop what I’m doing and check it out. The Turkmenistan Gas Crater of the Karakum Desert (also known as the Gate to Hell) is one of those things. Read the rest of this entry
When I was a kid, Peach (or Princess Toadstool or whatever the hell you want to call her) was clear: she needed help. When I was a teenager, she was subtle: “I baked a cake.” Right. “Cake.” (The guys in my class used to say, “I will give you cak,” but I’m pretty sure they weren’t talking about cake.) The point is that by the time Super Mario Galaxy came around, she had dropped all pretense yet still wasn’t going to write it out word for word, but you get the idea. Read the rest of this entry
The building I work at doesn’t see many children pass through, but there’s been a fair few lately. I guess it’s summer time, kids are off from school, blah blah blah. There’s also bathroom construction happening, so there’s limited places to relieve oneself, which brought me to the men’s room to see to twin boys who couldn’t have been more than five years old tag teaming a urinal. I know everything kids do is supposed to be cute, but I immediately thought of that scene from The Shining. I quickly backed out of the room and returned to the office, all thoughts of peeing having left my mind as I was now preoccupied with this. (Except replace the blood with urine – Danny’s reaction would still be the same.)
Beyond this Question Mark Cloud looking photo (which always reminds me of this), this post could alternatively be titled, “Merchants sell the darndest things,” because that’s what we’ve really got going. (Also, if you can’t see the cloud int he question mark… I hear ya. I might be stretching my visual interpretation a bit…) Anyway, the comedy is coming, I swear! Read the rest of this entry
If these seats (found at Newark Airport in Terminal C) don’t look close together, then just give this a try. Take took chairs, have them face each other and then stand in between them to approximate the same space you see here between my legs and the cushions. Then ask two people to sit down in the chairs. Sound fun? IT’S NOT.