Archive for ‘observations’

February 10, 2012

A Quick Thank You

by Jamie Insalaco
jamie-insalaco

"Thanks!" | "Meow!"

I just wanted to take a quick moment to say thanks to everyone who has been following the blog via email, Twitter, Facebook, Google+ or any of the 90 million other ways we stay in touch these days.  I really appreciate that you take time out of your day to visit the site, ‘Like’ a post, rate a post via the stars, share it on your social network, drop a comment…  or any of the 90 million other things you can do at the bottom of each post.

If you have any suggestions, questions, comments or complaints, feel free to drop a comment or send me an email.  Maybe there’s a particular type of post you’d like to see more or less of… whatever, just let me know.  I can’t promise I’ll be able to make everyone happy, but I’ll do my best to accommodate.  For example, A Fly On The Wall:  Michael Jordan And His Hitler Mustache is one of the most popular posts on the site of all time, and AFOTW is something I’ve been meaning to get back to, but I haven’t been able to find the right topic, so any suggestions would be welcomed.

Ways to connect:
There are a zillion ways for us to stay connected.  Here are the ones I do my best to support:

Subscribe via email
This one is infallible; if you subscribe to the site via email, you’ll never miss a thing.  If you’re like me and you’re always connected to email, than this is the best way to follow the blog.  You can subscribe using any of the three buttons on the right side of this page.  They looks like this:

follow-via-email

Three ways to do the same thing? That can't be right...

twitter
Twitter is another great way to follow the blog as each time a post goes live, a note with a link is sent to Twitter automatically, so this way is also rock solid.  I consider myself fairly internet savvy, and I can post messages to Twitter without a problem, but following other people has proven to be a bit difficult for me.  (I mean, I can click the ‘follow’ button without a problem, but I find the feed difficult to read.)  I know there are these things called hash tags and I should be using them for… something…  but I don’t, and I’m flat out awful at having a conversation.  I’ll try to figure that Twitter thing out at some point so I can use it more effectively.  Practice makes perfect, I suppose.

google plus
As a Gmail user, Google+ is convenient for me to use, so this is a great place to follow not necessarily the blog, but things I find on the web that I think are awesome.  Google+ isn’t perfect, but I must admit, I prefer their interface to what Facebook is using.  And as for MySpace (if you just asked someone, “What’s a ‘myspace?’” then you’re younger than me and I don’t like you as much as a I did a second ago), it looks better than it used to, but I gave up on them a long time ago, and besides, I just can’t handle managing another social media site.  I try to drop the links to new posts on Google+, but I usually forget.

facebook
Facebook kinda gets the short end of the stick – managing a Facebook Page is not like managing a Facebook Profile, so it doesn’t get as much attention as it deserves.  Like Google+, I share things here that I find on the web that are awesome.  I try to drop the links to new posts here, but I usually forget.

you tube
YouTube is another place to see the few tiny videos I’ve been able to crank out rather than using the Video category link above.  If you have a YouTube/Google account and follow the blog there, new videos will come up in your Subscriptions… you probably know all this already.

ebay
Hopefully, I’ll start posting more stuff to eBay soon.  As fair warning, it’s going to be a lot of old comic books, so I don’t blame you if that doesn’t peak your interest.  Oh, and Star Wars stuff… there was this two or three year period where I was buying Star Wars stuff and people were buying me Star Wars stuff… and it got totally out of hand.  Anyway, every little bit helps as there are tons of things I’d like to do on the blog (particularly video stuff) that I just can’t afford right now.  The website has a few costs associated with it, but until I actually start uploading video, they’re fairly minimum on an annual basis.  Still, they’re there, and they are not fun.

Contact via email
You can send an email to creativejamiecom [at] gmail [dot] com or use this form.

February 4, 2012

Settle Your Differences Supermarket Sweep Style

by Jamie Insalaco

Several months ago, I was walking through the grocery store and saw this:

grocery-store-america-crystal-sugar-killing-american-dream

And I thought to myself, “Are some of these tasty hot breakfast options KILLING the American Dream?  I better go in for a closer look.”

america-crystal-sugar-killing-american-dream

I read the sign and just could not focus on the message.  Being confronted with this sort of issue in a supermarket broke my brain.  I must have read the sign four or five times, but my girlfriend and I never actually discussed the information displayed because of two things:

  1. The fact that such a sign was taped to a shelf in the grocery store.  Who put it there?  The supermarket employees?  Were they instructed to do so by corporate, or perhaps by their union, who is sympathetic to the plight of this union?  The idea that the hot cereal shelf was the place for this sort of debate was fascinating to us.
  2. The scanny-code thingy!  What are those called again?  Oh… code scans.  Anyway, these things make me feel really old; the idea that I carry around a device in my pocket that can scan weird markings on paper and generate information blows my mind to the point that I’ve only mustered the courage to do it once.  Every time I see one, this is what I see in my mind’s eye:

star-trek-tos-mr-spock-tricorder

And then, I take out my wallet and do this:

Yeah, I’m an embarrassment to be seen with in public…  probably in private, too.

Anyway, I tried to go to the web page notated on the sign, but the URL doesn’t work.  A quick google search indicated that you really need to go here.  I didn’t end up taking any time to learn more about the situation or where it currently stands, but I hate it when URLs are posted incorrectly.  Somebody should fix that shiz.

But here’s what I do know:  two groups that work in an industry related to the grocery store are having a dispute, and if this is still an issue, I’ve got a great way to settle it:  Supermarket Sweep battle!

That’s right; put the fate of many and what I presume is millions of dollars in the hands of just a few people dashing around a fake grocery store in awful sweaters.  It’s a stupid, irrational suggestion, but it’ll only take a few minutes and will net a clear winner.

Also, I’d like to see Supermarket Sweep back on the air – I miss it’s horrendously fake enthusiasm and stock  production values.

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January 18, 2012

BLACKOUT! Fight SOPA & PIPA

by Jamie Insalaco

CreativeJamie.com is not blacked out today because frankly, I don’t know how to do it. I could have come up with something creative… but I didn’t. My bad – I forgot about this until this morning. But that’s not the point of all this. The blackout is about raising awareness concerning the proposed SOPA and PIPA bills, which if passed will suck all the fun out of the internet.

Frankly, I’m not the right guy to explain all this to you. Check out http://sopastrike.com/strike/ for info and to voice your opposition to Congress.

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January 11, 2012

Web Advertisers Think We’re Stupid

by Jamie Insalaco

This has got to be one of the worst advertisements I’ve ever seen on the web. I assume this is an ad for some investment website. (I didn’t actually click on the ad.) This guy is a ‘renegade trader,’ huh? I guess we know he’s a ‘renegade’ because of his photo – the crazy eyes, the unkempt hair and beard… look at that face! If I had any money, I’d trust it to his investment advice.

more Observations at creativejamie.com/category/observations/

January 1, 2012

2011 in review

by Jamie Insalaco

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 24,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 9 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

December 16, 2011

Newt Gingrich Loved Broken Arrow – A Movie Review

by Jamie Insalaco

I’m a long time critic of Newt Gingrich, which is an easy thing to be.

If the man is anything, he’s the father of the current political system that brings government to an unprecedented halt.  After all, this is the guy that implied he shut down the government because President Clinton snubbed him on that plane ride back home from Israel in 1995.  To complete his revenge, we all got to enjoy the impeachment of Clinton, perhaps one of the most unpopular things anyone has ever done ever and directly lead to other Republicans attempting to oust Gingrich as speaker and  Gingrich’s eventual resignation from Congress in 1999…  because, when everyone found out that Gingrich himself was having an extramarital affair while he was working on impeaching the president for lying about an extramarital affair, it’s kind of… you know…  hypocritical.

Just a little bit.

When it comes to Newt, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

newt-gingrich

This struck me as funny when I first had the thought, but now, I can't remember what it means.

After he left Congress,  eventually Gingrich started The Center for Health Transformation, or what I refer to as The Enemy of K Street.  Lobbyists must hate Gingrich’s company because it bypasses them, their process and their fee and puts elected officials and corporations in the same room – why pay someone to negotiate on your behalf when you can pay Gingrich’s firm and get first person access?  Yeah, you get better access when you hire a former speaker of the house – funny how that works!  So when Gingrich insisted he wasn’t a lobbyist a few weeks ago, that’s technically true – but since his company provides a nearly identical service, it’s faster to just call him a lobbyist.  Gingrich also supported the Medicare Prescription Drug, Improvement, and Modernization Act of 2003, which I think David Frum, a former speechwriter for President George W. Bush, was referring to (in part) when he said:

Rather than workable solutions, my party is offering low taxes for the currently rich and high spending for the currently old, to be followed by who-knows-what and who-the-hell-cares.  This isn’t conservatism; it’s a going-out-of-business sale for the baby-boom generation.

Well said, sir – well said.

So up to this point, I just thought Gingrich was an opportunist at best and the devil himself at worst – I get the feeling that he converted to Catholicism after hearing about how the whole confession thing works.  But after I heard about his thinking on Electro Magnetic Pulse, I have now modified my opinion of him on to Bat Shit CRAZY.

broken-arrow

You ever see that movie Broken Arrow, starring Christian Slater and John Travolta?  It’s a John Woo movie, so you know that at some point, people will end up pointing guns in each others faces or in a similar Mexican Standoff like scenario.

broken-arrow-standoff

Stuff like this happens a lot in John Woo movies.

But the point is, this movie features an underground nuclear explosion that doesn’t leak radiation but only emanates an EMP (that’s electromagnetic pulse) which disables all electronic equipment in the area, including knocking a helicopter out of the air in spectacular fashion.

Newt is worried about this.

Instead of underground, Gingrich is concerned that some country will detonate a nuclear  device high above the US and knock out our power, and apparently, he’s been worried about this for a long time and has mentioned it frequently over his decades in the public eye.  Part of his campaign for president features an argument that we need to focus on a defense against this sort of attack

How do you defend against a magnet?  It’s actually a lot simpler than that.

insane-clown-posse-miracles

"Magnets - how do they work?"

I don’t think Gingrich is suggesting that we come up with a way to shield ourselves from EMP (although maybe he is), but instead, I think he wants to make sure we can knock such a device (missle) out of the sky before it detonates.  However, my understanding is that our missile defense guys are on top of such a situation… knocking projectiles out of the sky is pretty much their sole focus, as I understand it, and it doesn’t really matter what the projectile is, they just want to turn it into a fireball.

Also, the only scientific comments I could find don’t think a nuke detonated in the atmosphere (or whatever ‘above the United States’ means) would push out that kind of EMP to the ground and kill all of our electricity.  I read this one account where a scientist called this scenario ‘pretty theoretical,’ which sounds to me like a diplomatic way of saying, “This is horse shit.  I have real work to do.”

This seems like typical Newt Gingrich to me.  Remember how he reacted to Susan Smith killing her two children?

“I think that the mother killing the two children in South Carolina vividly reminds every American how sick the society is getting and how much we need to change things.  The only way you get change is to vote Republican.”

See?  We elected Bill Clinton, a Democrat, instead of the incumbent, George H. W. Bush, a Republican, so Susan Smith killed her kids.  That must be what happened.

This is the kind of thinking that helps Gingrich arrive at the EMP theory.  He wants us to devote time and resources to make sure we can protect against an attack that we’ve been able to defend against since the 80s so we’re secured from a contingency that probably doesn’t exist.  OK.  We should get our best research and development guys on that.

Right after lunch.

more Election 2012 at creativejamie.com/category/election-2012/

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more Movie Reviews at creativejamie.com/category/movie-reviews/

Also, Broken arrow is pretty good – if you like John Woo movies, or just action movies in general, I’d give it a look.

December 12, 2011

4 Nominees The Republicans Won’t Approve For Dickish Reasons

by Jamie Insalaco

Politicians in the United States generally only come in two flavors:  Democrat or Republican.

If you’re a Democrat,  I jump to the conclusion that by default, you’re a worthless human being who is rich, enjoys being rich and is not especially interested in making the world a better place.  But, not being the total epitome of evil, you don’t hate the poor or the middle class and from time to time, you’ll throw the masses a bone or two.

But then there’s the Republicans.  I’ve scraped better looking stuff off the bottom of my sneakers walking through a flooded parking lot full of porta potties after a Giants vs Cowboys game – in Dallas.  Republicans don’t care about anyone about themselves – it’s not about governing, it’s about winning.  To win, you must stomp your opposition into the ground by any means necessary over the course of every single contest, even when it comes to the fairly routine business of approving nominees for office.  If the Democrats nominate someone, the Republicans have to reject them on principal, regardless of qualifications.

Nominee:
  Mari Carmen Aponte
Position:  Ambassador to El Salvador
Republicans are rejecting because:  Aponte’s former boyfriend, Roberto Tamayo, a Cuban-American insurance salesman, was reputedly attempted to be recruited by Cuban spies.  The Washington Times says Tamayo was actually an informat for the FBI, bu the Republicans don’t want to hear it.  Providing the Republicans with Aponte’s FBI file has not changed anything as of yet, but you can’t expect the Republicans to trust some silly, liberal organization like the FBI.  My favorite detail of this story is that Aponte and Tamayo broke up in 1994.  When I was in 8th grade.

Nominee:  Richard Cordray
Position:  Consumer Financial Protection Bureau
Republicans are rejecting because:  They don’t like the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau… which doesn’t actually exist, and therefore, hasn’t actually done anything yet.  The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau was approved by the Senate (with Republican support), but they don’t like the way it’s set up, so they won’t approve anybody until the organization they voted to create over a year ago is changed.

Nominee:  Caitlin Halligan
Position:  District of Columbia Circuit Court of Appeals
Republicans are rejecting because:  The District of Columbia Circuit Court of Appeals doesn’t have enough cases to warrant her appointment.  So there is a court in the United States that actually isn’t backlogged to hell and it’s the District of Columbia Circuit Court of Appeals?  I don’t buy it.

Nominee:  Adam E. Namm
Position:  Ambassador to Ecuador
Republicans are rejecting because:  Senator Marco Rubio of Florida announced he will block any nominee to the Foreign Relations Committee because he disapproves of the administration’s Latin America policy.

Check it:

“I encouraged the Administration to seize these nominations as an opportunity to outline a plan to steer U.S. policy in the Western Hemisphere towards renewing America’s commitment to promoting democracy and free markets.

“But it has become clear that the Administration plans to continue business as usual in the region.  This is unacceptable.  Therefore, I will oppose these nominees in the Foreign Relations Committee, and reserve my right to block or vote against any other future Western Hemisphere nominees until the Administration takes meaningful action to change its policies.”

Really, Senator Rubio?  Really?  The Western Hemisphere?  I’d like to take a moment in this space to encourage you to stop being a dick.

But he can’t because they can’t – it’s practically the Republican motto:

gop-homepage-republican-tag-line
Other tag lines they considered where, “Ugh, the President is a black,” or “Our home page focuses on how the President is bad, not how we are good.  Fast and Furious.  Ha!  That’s a movie reference!  Did you idiots pick up on that?  We specifically picked it for it’s mass appeal to idiots.  Oh, please donate money while you’re here.”

The Democrats just take it because they can – what do they care?  They never fight this sort of bullshit with the force it deserves.  Instead, they just wander around muttering because they know people like me feel compelled to vote and will continue to vote for them as long as the alternative is a bat shit crazy person who spends too much of their time vetting the former significant others of people they are considering not hiring because when you jam a fork in the toaster while wearing a rubber glove, you need to have an excuse for breaking a perfectly operational household appliance.  If that rambling is a little to theoretical for you, then I’ll just reiterate that as a politician, your job is to govern, not to win!

Now that we’re getting closer to the 2012 election year, I think it’s time for the Democrats to stop doing their usual defensive posture, stop fake trying to take the high rode and instead, kick some ASS!  It’s time to pick up an axe and ask, “Who’s with me?”

Do it, Barack!

More Lists at creativejamie.com/category/lists/

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***Gail Collins wrote a much better column on the topic of Republicans not approving Democratic nominees last Friday.  I highly recommend you read it because anything by Gail Collins kicks serious butt.

November 28, 2011

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other One

by Jamie Insalaco

Let me start off by declaring my love and undying loyalty to the New York Times.  Their website, nytimes.com, is friggin awesome in every sense of the word and is recognized for it’s quality content (Google Page Rank of 9) and world wide popularity (Alexa rank of 88 out of a bizillion websites) by everyone in the online industry and beyond.

But every once and a while, something crazy slips through the cracks.  Observe:

ny-times-spider-man-turn-off-the-dark

The video segment, Times Cast, is sort of like a local network news show, but they only have a few minutes to disperse information.  And like a local network news show, They cover important issues of the day and also touch upon the lighter side of the day’s events.  Now this format works well enough over an hour or even a half hour, when you only have seven minutes and you choose two serious items and one more that frankly begs an explanation, the latter sticks out like a sore thumb.

So take the quiz!  Which one of these news items isn’t like the other?  And by ‘other,’ I mean which news item isn’t important to you or anybody else in any conceivable way possible.

November 10, 2011

Penn State Alumni & Students Should Distance Themselves From Demonstrators

by Jamie Insalaco

By now, you’re well versed in the scandal that Penn State is well deservedly drowning in concerning former assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky allegedly sexually assaulting young boys. Consequently, head football coach for the last century Joe Paterno was fired as an accomplice after the fact, along with university president Graham B. Spanier – which none of their students seemed to notice, by the way.

I suppose a portion of Penn State’s students decided the university didn’t look bad enough, so they decided the best way to express their frustration with the firing of the man the kids call JoePa (Seriously? That’s his nickname? If you’re 80 and that’s your nickname… change your nickname.) was to riot.

From the New York Times:

After top Penn State officials announced that they had fired Joe Paterno on Wednesday night, thousands of students stormed the downtown area to display their anger and frustration, chanting the former coach’s name, tearing down light poles and overturning a television news van parked along College Avenue.

Demonstrators tore down two lamp posts, one falling into a crowd. They also threw rocks and fireworks at the police, who responded with pepper spray. The crowd undulated like an accordion, with the students crowding the police and the officers pushing them back.

“We got rowdy, and we got maced,” Jeff Heim, 19, said rubbing his red, teary eyes. “But make no mistake, the board started this riot by firing our coach. They tarnished a legend.”


Four girls in heels danced on the roof of a parked sport utility vehicle and dented it when they fell after a group of men shook the vehicle. A few, like Justin Muir, 20, a junior studying hotel and restaurant management, threw rolls of toilet paper into the trees. “It’s not fair,” Mr. Muir said hurling a white ribbon. “The board is an embarrassment to our school and a disservice to the student population.”

They also tore down street signs, tipped over trash cans and newspaper vending boxes and shattered car windows.


One man in gas mask rushed a half dozen police officers in protective gear, blasted one officer with pepper spray underneath his safety mask and then sprinted away. The officer lay on the ground, rubbing his eyes. Paul Howard, 24, an aerospace engineering student, jeered the police.

“Of course we’re going to riot,” he said. “What do they expect when they tell us at 10 o’clock that they fired our football coach?”

Finally, kudos to the New York Times for finding a student who isn’t an idiot.

Mixed in the crowd were a few dissenting opinions. Dan Smith, 21, a junior studying secondary education, said he thought the board was correct.

“The hardest part, because he was a hero to me, is coming to grips with what he did, or actually what he didn’t do,” Mr. Smith said.

If you’re a student or alumni of Penn State, do yourself a favor and distance yourself from these knuckleheads. Write the student government association and alumni association and let them know that they need to get something going with respect to having sympathy for the alleged victims rather than paying tribute to someone who knew about an injustice and didn’t do everything in their power to correct it. That’s why he was fired. The Penn State community knows better than most the kind of power a college football coach wields, and this was a total failure in leadership by Paterno.

Sigh. The riot is the most shocking thing to come out of this whole ordeal. I just didn’t see this coming. I think my favorite student comment was “What do they expect when they tell us at 10 o’clock that they fired our football coach?” It’s pretty disconcerting that a 24 year old thinks that what time of day you learn about the coach’s firing is a factor in whether or not your riot. "Well, if it was right after dinner, we might have been more civil, but it was 10… we’re already drunk by 10…" That’s my only guess at a rationale for that statement.

Let’s look a little closer at some of the actions and comments from the student demonstrators.

"Demonstrators tore down two lamp posts, one falling into a crowd. They also threw rocks and fireworks at the police…"
I can’t say enough about how lucky they were that no one was hurt when the lamp post fell into the crowd – or during any of the other crazy shenanigans. And the students threw things at the police? That’s insane.

"…the board started this riot by firing our coach. They tarnished a legend.”
Pretty sure Paterno did that to himself.

"Four girls in heels danced on the roof of a parked sport utility vehicle and dented it when they fell after a group of men shook the vehicle."
Who owned the vehicle? What did that vehicle owner ever do to anybody?

“The board is an embarrassment to our school and a disservice to the student population.”
No, that would be the protestors. Breaking car windows has what to with Joe Paterno, exactly?

The vandalism… I can’t believe they assaulted a cop with pepper spray. Well done by the police for not tasing or night sticking these knuckleheads. If I told you a group of college kids were committing acts of vandalism while throwing rocks and fireworks at the police and one instance of assaulting an office with pepper spray and the pepper spray guy ended up getting shot, I don’t think no one would be shocked by that outcome.

But this is the moment – now is the time for Penn State to rise up again and say that they made a mistake and they’re trying to correct it. Firing Paterno and Spanier was just the first step, but now this riot has cast a second ugly shadow on the school. It’s time for them to stand up and show the world that football doesn’t run their school, that the rioters are a minority, not a majority of their community, that they are sympathetic toward children who were allegedly abused. They should start this Saturday by not paying tribute to Paterno. That’d be a good first step. Where they go from there to make this right, I leave to them.

Just keep the destruction of public and private property to a minimum.

November 7, 2011

5 Things Herman Cain Deleted from his Sexual Harassment Denial Statement

by Jamie Insalaco

I love this guy!

Herman Cain’s denial to this latest allegation of sexual harassment is one of the greatest things I have ever read.  Check it:

Activist celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred is bringing forth more false accusations against the character of Republican front-runner Herman Cain.  All allegations of harassment against Mr. Cain are completely false. Mr. Cain has never harassed anyone. Fortunately the American people will not allow Mr. Cain’s bold ’9-9-9 Plan’, clear foreign policy vision and plans for energy independence to be overshadowed by these bogus attacks.

Wow.  Just wow.  No “We categorically deny these charges,” no discrediting the accuser, just hard (ha, hard!) facts, Herminator style!  Here’s what I got out of this:

1.  Herman Cain didn’t harass anyone, ever
2.  Herman Cain is the Republican front runner
3.  I (and other American people) will not let these bogus attacks overshadow Herman Cain
4.  Mr. Cain’s 9-9-9 plan is bold
5.  Herman Cain has clear foreign policy vision
6.  Herman Cain has a plan for energy independence
7. He’s the Herminator!

BEST STATEMENT EVER!

Being such a big Herman Cain fan, I have access to unreleased drafts of the statement. Here are my favorite 5 Things Herman Cain Deleted from his Sexual Harassment Denial Statement.

1.  It’s not sexual harassment if I do it, because I do it right
2.  Bitches love me
3.  I’m the Herminator!
4.  If women didn’t want me to grope them, they’d surround themselves with a 20 foot high electrified fence with barbed wire at the top and include a sign in English and whatever the hell language I speak that reads, “The liberal media will kill you!”
5.  My book, This is Herman Cain! is still on sale and is selling like hot cakes!

UPDATE:
ah, now he’s attacking the accuser’s credibility: “a woman with a long history of severe financial difficulties, including personal bankruptcy.”
He was on Jimmy Kimmel last night and announced tonight’s press conference and he said two things that are awesome all in the same sentence: “I will talk about any and all future firestorms, because here’s one thing people don’t know about Herman Cain: I’m in it to win it.”

1. referring to yourself in the 3rd person is awesome
2. “I’m in it to win it” What is the guy, a lottery?

More Lists at creativejamie.com/category/lists/

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