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Category Archives: creative projects

creative projects

Battling Icicles (meme edition)

one-does-not-simply

Had enough winter yet?  Yeah, I’m kinda done, too.  No matter where you live, there’s no escaping the winter of 2014.  The snow, ice and frigid temperatures are pounding one and all with reckless abandon.  Even the American south isn’t  safe and at this point, I’ve reached a point where I don’t have any place left to store the snow.  And it just keeps coming. Read the rest of this entry

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Wrapping for Jesus is offensively entertaining

Yep, that’s just what it is: offensively entertaining.  Offentertaining, if you will.

About Selfies

In today’s post, I promise you Star Wars! I promise you smack talk about members of Congress! And most of all, I promise you a discussion the newest word in the dictionary, selfie.

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FAKE EMAIL: Twilight

Our new feature explores emails that might have been sent by fictional characters or in fictional universes, etc.   You’ll get the idea…

FROM:  Edward

TO:  Bella

SUBJECT:  last night at my house – music!

Yo Bells,

What up?  Thanks for coming by the house last night and meeting the fam!  I know it’s all happening kinda fast, but that’s how one does things when one is immortal!  Glad nobody ate you!  =)

So we didn’t really get a chance to talk about music all that in-depth last night.  (Climbing trees is fun!)  What are your favorite bands?  Songs?  Do you like Gaga?  (I assume ‘yes’ because of your poker face!)

bella-twilight-open-mouth

What instrument do you play?  I mean, I just assume you at least attempt to play an instrument because you love music so much…  As you know, I play the piano (I’ve had plenty of time to practice!), but I’d love to tickle your ivories!  (Get it?  Get it?  It’s a reference to your teeth because I’m a vampire and… I want to be erotic with your teeth?  OK, I’ve lost my train of thought… need more blood… must go hunt…)

Write back or hit me up on Twitter!  @edfastsucka

Osmosis doesn’t mean what we think it means

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “learn by osmosis,” but I bet most people don’t know what the word “osmosis” actually means.  Ever seen the word “osmosis” in this context?

reverse-osmosis-drinking-water-systemYeah, my mind was blown.  Reverse osmosis?  Drinking water?  What the hell is going on here?

Wikipedia defines osmosis as follows:

Osmosis is the net movement of solvent molecules through a partially permeable membrane into a region of higher solute concentration, in order to equalize the solute concentrations on the two sides.

Yeah, I didn’t follow all that either.  Essentially, osmosis is the diffusion of water… and a reverse osmosis filter removes chlorine, heavy metals, such as barium, cadmium, chromium, lead and mercury from water for drinking.

So boom.  No learning going on here – except the correct* definition of “osmosis.”

and by ‘correct,’ I mean the first definition you’ll see for osmosis, even if it’s not the most common.

CreativeJamie.com Dictionary: Shitgestions

creative-jamie-com-dictionaryShitgestions

To make a terrible suggestion; a suggestion that isn’t worth a shit.

His text suggested that we meet for lunch at McDonalds – what a shitgestion.

It turns out, people are already using this word, but I couldn’t let it pass.  Oh, and in that example sentence… well, there is certainly more than one way to read that one.  (Could refer to the quality of the food!)

The CreativeJamie.com Dictionary is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but never got around to until now.  I had a writing college in class during which one assignment challenged us to make up our own words.  I sucked at it (hard), but I loved the idea, so I’m giving it a go now.

Sauce Packet Organization – Creative Projects

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Yeah, this is how I roll.  Can’t just have sauce packets laying around everywhere – I need my shiz organized.

This is just a cliff bar box I ripped the top off of, cut the top into rows and stapled it to the sides.

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CreativeJamie.com Dictionary: Pimpident

creative-jamie-com-dictionaryPimpident

To accidentally dress like a pimp, prostitute or other person of ill fame

He wore a shirt darker than his suit, giving him the appearance of a pimp, despite not dressing as such with purpose – a pimpident.

The CreativeJamie.com Dictionary is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but never got around to until now.  I had a writing college in class during which one assignment challenged us to make up our own words.  I sucked at it (hard), but I loved the idea, so I’m giving it a go now.

CreativeJamie.com Dictionary: Bizouncester

creative-jamie-com-dictionaryBizouncester

To leave on gangster related business.

When one leaves, they bounce.  If they leave on business, they bizounce.  If they leave on gangster business, they are a bizouncester.

The CreativeJamie.com Dictionary is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but never got around to until now.  I had a writing college in class during which one assignment challenged us to make up our own words.  I sucked at it (hard), but I loved the idea, so I’m giving it a go now.

CreativeJamie.com Dictionary: Enerficiency

creative-jamie-com-dictionaryEnerficiency

To move in a way that conserves energy; to move about the room in an efficient manner.

He left the dinning room as enerficiencently as possible, carrying both the plates and serving dishes all in one trip while additionally turning the light off with his elbow.

The CreativeJamie.com Dictionary is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but never got around to until now.  I had a writing college in class during which one assignment challenged us to make up our own words.  I sucked at it (hard), but I loved the idea, so I’m giving it a go now.

Ultimate Vegan Breakfast Sandwich!

vegan-egg-saladEvery once and a while, I have an idea, execute the concept and the results are great – this is one of the times.  Here follows the combining of many things to make one thing that is ULTIMATE!  Prepare thy self! Read the rest of this entry

Airplane Phone Holder [Engineering Like A MoFo]

I’ve become reliant on my smart phone since I got the thing last summer.  I knew I could watch movies on the plane during the long flight from Newark to Las Vegas, but the idea of holding it up to my face or straining my neck to look down at my phone on the tray table for hours on end was out of the question.  Sill, I decided that the tray table was going to be a key component to the success of my plan.

I did some quick research, but I found the product I envisioned was not necessarily in resistance.  A temporary solution was necessary and so, like with the Air Defender™, I turned to my old friend, paper board.

As we all know, when tray tables are in their locked and upright position, they are sealed tightly to the seated they are affixed to.  My idea was to simply slip a length of paper board between the tray table and the seat, lock the tray table shut and finally, zip tie my phone to the exposed papler left protruding against the backside of the table.

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So, I took this, stuck my phone in it, completed the procedure described above, and I was in business: the Tray Table Phone Friend™ was born!  (The name just rolls right off your tongue.)

Here it is in action:

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Boom! Watching The Dark Knight on my phone with a little help from the Tray Table Phone Friend™!

more Photos at creativejamie.com/category/photos/

more Creative Projects at creativejamie.com/category/creative-projects/

Protect Yourself From Air Conditioning With The Air Defender Ver 2.0 Beta!

Air Conditioning in the winter – you know I hate it, but who wouldn’t?  My office, that’s who.  The office where I work my day job has an unusual HVAC system that functions beyond any reasoning I can understand.  See, you can’t simply choose ‘Fan,’ ‘Air’ (as in air conditioning) or ‘Heat’  as one usually would, but instead, the system kicks on if the set temperature deviates by a half degree in either direction.  During the winter, once it gets a half degree too hot, the fan kicks on (yeah, not the air conditioning – sorry if I mislead you), blowing air from the outside on helpless me.  As it’s winter, the air is quite frigid, and I can’t tolerate being unnecessarily cold.

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