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Category Archives: comic book reviews

reviews of comic books

Guardians of the Galaxy (movie review)

We saw Guardians of the Galaxy this past Sunday with a full house at 10:50 AM. The movie is filled with murder, violence, profanity, betrayal, torture, sadness, jokes, pop songs from the 1970s, abduction, deaths of innocents, more murder, more violence… and it’s probably the most fun you’ll have at the movies this year.

“And there’s your blurb,” as Christy Lemire would say.

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The Dark Knight (movie review)

The question isn’t really regarding the quality of The Dark Knight but instead, by examining its parts, deciding on its place in history. Is it the best action movie ever? Let’s dig in to the most bountiful Batman movie we’re ever likely to get. Read the rest of this entry

All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies reviewed!

Well, that which I have been dreading is nearly upon us:  The Michael Bay produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie is just days away.  As if you haven’t already guessed, I’m setting my expectations to low (especially after I saw the toys).  Then again, I tried that with Transformers, and look how that turned out.  Anyway, in the interest in getting caught up with all things Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from a movie standpoint, here are my scores and links to the reviews for all six TMNT movies.

I love the first one.  1990’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is awesome and I will hear nothing else on the subject.  9 out of 10.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II:  The Secret of the Ooze  is a baffling, disappointing follow-up, but  it’s watchable.  “Go ninja, go ninja, go!”  3 out of 10.

The third one… it’s not bad, but it feels like nobody gave a shiz.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III is bad, but it could be much worse and they ditched the campy tone of the second, which was much appreciated.  5 out of 10.

2007’s TMNT is fine – it starts off strongly but falters.  3.5 out of 10.

I have to admit, I haven’t finished watching Turtles Forever.  For all its bold premise promises, I was shocked at how board I was while watching the flick – I’ll try to give it another chance ASAP.

That’s all for now…  boy, this new movie sure does look like shiz.  Oh well.  It’s got to be better than the Transformers movies… right?

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Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (quick movie review)

I gotta tell yah, these DC Animated Universe Justice League movies have gone way downhill.

I love the idea of time traveling to the past creating a mishap in the future, but frankly, Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox just doesn’t work. Nobody gives a rats butt about The Flash’s mom. I did like what they did with Batman here, but ultimately, this movie is a few bagels short of a dozen… or something something metaphor.

The characters in this movie… Oy, The Reverse Flash… he looks like The Zoid’s evil brother or something. This guy gives Wario a lot of credibility… you know what I’m saying? I guess I’m saying that the movie’s antagonist sucks and I’m not even sure how he’s aware of the paradox or why The Flash himself can’t figure it out. It’s just… well, this movie is ass is what it is.

It’s not boring, but I can’t recommend Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox. I’m giving it a 4 out of 10. There’s no rewatchability here and it’s barely worth a look for even hardcore fans.

Another Deadpool Fan Film is coming soon!

Way back in 2012, we made a Deadpool fan film and we’re back at it again because… my boy still has that Deadpool costume. I understand that the below image might not be the most helpful teaser ever, so I’ll go on to say that this short will also feature Captain America and will be somewhere in between Blossom and The Odd Couple. If you don’t see the synergy between those two shows, then – wait, I don’t see the synergy between Blossom and The Odd Couple, so this video is going to be a bit on the odd side. But then, that’s kinda what we do around here anyway.

We’re about halfway done with filming and I’ve sorta started the editing, so this shouldn’t take too long, but I don’t want to give a debut date and be wrong, so let’s just say ‘coming soon’ and leave it at that.

All the X-Men movies reviewed!

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I gotta say, X-Men: Days of Future Past looks like fun! Lots of good actors (Hugh Jackman, Jennifer Lawrence, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart just to name a few), superpowers, time travel… What else could you ask for in an action movie? Well, it has giant robots, too, so we should be well covered. But probably more so than any other comic book movie sequel, here’s one you need to do your homework for. In effort to get you prepared, here are my reviews and scores for all of the X-Men movies! Read the rest of this entry

All the Spider-Man movies reviewed!

Since we’re all gearing up to see The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (for better or worse), I thought now would be a good time to check in with the Tobey Maguire trilogy and the first episode of the reboot.

For those that are pressed for time, I’ll just let you know the scores here and if you’re interested in more details, just click the movie title for the full review.

I gave the first Spider-Man movie a 7.8 out of ten,  and Spider-Man 2 came in with a nearly identical score of 7.5 out of 10.  Finally, Spider-Man 3, that which is so loathsome to so many, clocked in at a meager 5 out of 10 because that movie kinda sucks.  Then, The Amazing Spider-Man reboot didn’t exactly get the franchise started with a roar by earning just a 6 out of 10.  Finally, if you give a crap, here’s my review of Spider-Man:  Turn off the Dark. Read the rest of this entry

Spider-Man 3 (movie review)

http://youtu.be/PCmMLfXdURs
I know, I know; Spider-man 3 is the one everybody hates: the Hobgoblin’s snowboard, Peter Parker’s emo hair and dancing, the lackluster portrayal of Venom…  And you’re not wrong, these are generally bad things, but they’re not what’s killing the movie.  (These things are more akin to covering a pile of crap with crap sprinkles. ) Read the rest of this entry

Clark Gregg is in The Usual Suspects

Agent Phil Coulson, the bad ass who makes the Marvel Movie and TV Universe go round, is in The Usual Suspects, one of the best movies ever. It’s only for a minute, when the cop is on the phone trying to a translator that knows Hungarian, but that’s him on the left, as noticed by Dr. Girlfriend.

An awesome movie just got awesome-er!

Captain America: The First Avenger – a video refresher course before you see The Winter Soldier 

Sure, I wrote a review of Captain America: The First Avenger when it first came out, and I could just refer everybody back to there, but what fun is that?  This is a Winter Soldier celebration!

Captain-America-USO

“I think the girls only know the one song… but I’ll see what I can do.”

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Captain America Patriot Cologne is a thing that exists

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It’s MY attack plan.

Some folks might want to be Captain America, but Dr. Girlfriend realized I want to smell like him.

She’s not wrong.

I’m sure you’re wondering:  What does a patriot smell like? Read the rest of this entry

It's a Captain America: The Winter Soldier celebration here at CJ!

I love me some Captain America, and I couldn’t be more delighted that another flick is dropping starring Chris Evans as the Star Spangled Avenger. I’m not completely in love with the way they’re writing him (one second, it seems like the Steve Rogers I know, but the next second, he’s firing automatic rifles and hurling people to their death), but I’m pleased with the way Evans is portraying the roll. Also, I’m a big Winter Soldier fan, and I’m curious to see the movie’s take on it. Unlike before Captain America: The First Avenger, my expectations are dialed up to eleven: the trailer gives the impression that the movie is interesting, and we’ve already seen what most of the players can do with their characters, and, as history has shown us, the second movie of a series is often the best one (Matrix trilogy aside), so all signs point to a good movie.

We’ll have to wait and see…

Oh, the celebration part – I almost forgot. Well, we should have some Captain America-centric posts going for the rest of the week, and maybe beyond. Stay tuned for more stuff!

New Flash Costume screams “Shut up, crime!”

new flash costumeObviously, The Flash has been around forever – since 1940, in fact.  I don’t know what it is about this new Flash costume for the upcoming TV show, but there’s something about it that screams “Shut up, crime!”  And I haven’t even gotten around to seeing Super yet, and it still pops into my brain ever time I see it.  I guess that for me, there’s just something inherently dorky about that flash suit.  I just can’t put my finger on it…

 

Superman vs The Elite movie review (Mixers and Movie Reviews)

This video review is an outtake from our Man of Steel episode.

Here, we’re jawing about Superman vs The EliteI never really thought about it before, but this movie is sorta the anti Man of Steel.  In Superman vs The Elite, the Last Son of Krypton gets through a battle in traditional Superman fashion…  that is, he doesn’t do what The Man of Tomorrow does at the end of Man of Steel. Read the rest of this entry

Thoughts on Superman Returns (Mixers & Movie Reviews)

When we reviewed Man of Steel, we got off track a few times.  Here’s our discussion on Superman Returns. Read the rest of this entry

Superman movie false starts – Mixers & Movie Reviews

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Dan Conrad and I are back for another round of Mixers and Movie Reviews!  This time, we tackle the Superman movies that might have been.  Watch the video after the jump!

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Batman Returns movie review

Here’s where the wheels start to come off.

If you’ll check my Batman post, you’ll see that while I love the movie, I’m quick to admit that it’s not without fault and I’m not the world’s biggest Tim Burton fan.  Batman Returns is chock full of Burtony goodness, and it’s to the film’s detriment – but, if ever there was a movie that was saved by performances, it’s this one. Read the rest of this entry

Batman (1989) movie review

It might be a comic book movie classic now, but when this movie was on its way to theaters, nobody knew what to expect.  People complained that Mr. Mom wouldn’t make a good Batman, nobody knew who the hell Tim Burton was, and I still get confused every time I watch it when I see that Jack Nicholson has top billing in the flick.  Batman might be short of story, but it’s got great atmosphere, fantastic performances and is responsible for the flood of comic books movies we’ve had since, for better or worse.   Read the rest of this entry

5 Reasons Monthly Comic Book Sales Will NEVER Recover

comic booksThere are so many reasons that practical monthly comic book sales (I mean of the physical object) will never rebound back to their levels of yesteryear that it’s hard to know where to start. As an old-fashioned comic geek, I’ll just stick to the things the industry is doing to themselves rather than factors Marvel and DC can’t control, like the advent of video games and other home entertainment options. Read the rest of this entry

Jesse Eisenberg will play Lex Luthor, Jeremy Irons Cast as Alfred in upcoming Batman-Superman Movie

I’m sure everyone has heard by now that Jesse Eisenberg will play Lex Luthor and  Jeremy Irons will play Alfred in upcoming Batman-Superman movie (that is rumored to be delayed because either Ben Affleck hurt his leg or they need more time to finish special effects).  I’m sure by now everyone is over their Batfleck trauma (note:  I was never effected by this as I’m an Affleck fan, if not always a fan of the movies he appears in) and Jeremy Irons sounds like a fine choice to play Alfred, but for some reason, I am anticipating the most controversy over Eisenberg’s casting.  I think he’ll do a fine job and probably provide levity as well as menace.  Still, I didn’t see this coming – although I probably should have…

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