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Author Archives: Jamie Insalaco

Black Friday of DEATH! or This Christmas, get her a Crossbow!

The Christmas shopping season is upon us! The deals are already out there! And it’s not just jewelers, TVs and toasters, no! We can gear up Chewbacca style!

(What I’m trying to say is, Chewbacca’s weapon is a crossbow… not sure that’s clear.) Read the rest of this entry

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Yard of ale? Boot of beer?

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It’s not enough to drink beer – you have to make a game of it. It’s required, apparently.  I’ve seen people play beer pong and quarters, but there’s another level to this drinking games phenomenon. Read the rest of this entry

Alligator Band will play banjo music in front of your house… forever.

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If you’re trying to come up with an outdoor Christmas display that will make your neighbors hate you, I’d give the 5 foot high, 7 foot wide banjo music playing light up Alligator Band a try.
I don’t understand why this exists. Am I missing something? Who wants a giant rat on their front lawn? It’s not like I’m trying to organize a union protest or something. But, if your ambition is to have a weird band on your lawn, you probably couldn’t get a real band to play for $135 for a month. Still seems pricey, though.
This doesn’t have anything to do with The Princess and the Frog, does it? I’m still baffled that this is a thing that exists.

And the answer is: A giant rubber duck and a Mr. Potato Head (Fake Jeopardy)

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“What are two things your outdoor Christmas display is missing retailing over one hundred bucks each?”

This is how crazy these Christmas decorations are – I’ve turned it into some weird Jeopardy parody.  I just don’t get it and thankfully, I don’t think anyone else does, either, as I’ve yet to see these two options in the wild.
Yet.

Swinging Single Socks are a Sadistic Scourge

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I just don’t get why we have so many socks without a mate. There must be 50 left after The Great Sunday Sock Pairing of 2014, which is crazy. As you can see, I’ve separated the Swinging Singles (or as I like to say, “Singing Swingles”) into three categories: white, various and black. Not that this helps the situation any, but I like to pretend I’ve exercised sovereignty over the material world.
Where is it that socks go? Do the Underpants Gnomes have cousins?

New York Times puts 'extreme' in quotes in reference to Buffalo snowfall, Mountain Dew enthusiasts cry foul

snowIn the last twenty years or so, the word ‘extreme’ has been bandied about with reckless abandon. Its overuse is well chronicled in silly product commercials, the X Games and so on. However, this doesn’t mean that there’s no longer a relevant use for the word. Even people who slug back sugary drinks while skateboarding half pipes and simultaneously exhibiting Michael Jordan esque tongue gestures would probably agree that several feet of snow on your front lawn is cause for dropping the quotes. It’s a life threatening amount of snow – it’s not Dr. Evil talking about using lasers to cause global warming…

Hmm – synergy?

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