Author Archives: Jamie Insalaco
Daylight Savings Time is one of those things that has plagued my mind for years because of the way it was explained to me. I’d always heard that we adjust the clocks to benefit American farmers… and later in life, I’d heard it benefits school children by putting them outside during better lighted hours. Both of these reasons are MYTHS, and the real reason is brought to you by our friendly neighborhood Wu Tang Clan: it’s money.
It’s a Disney World vs Disneyland full on Fantasyland RUMBLE! Today on Disney Parks Versus, we’ll get to the bottom of who has the better Fantasyland!
This s a tough one.
Disneyland has the classics that have fallen by the wayside at Disney World, such as Mr Toad’s Wild Ride and Snow White’s Scary Adventures, and they’ve got the mainstays, like Peter Pan’s Flight, the Tea Cups, the carousel and it’s a small world. They also bring a full Alice in Wonderland ride to the table, which is a fascinating experience in itself. Meanwhile, Disney World is blowing up their Fantasyland with the new Snow White attraction, the Be Our Guest restaurant, not one but TWO Dumbo the Flying Elephant options and… that pointless Rapunzel tower that just kinda sits there and does nothing.
There’s whiskey, scotch or bourbon – as far as I’m concerned, we’re talking about variations on the same thing. The thing is, most people don’t like to drink it room temperature. Sometimes I do, but sometimes I want it cold. Ice doesn’t work (for two reasons I’ll explain in a sec), so what’s a guy to do? There are alternatives, and for reasons that will become apparent in a moment, Balls of Steel is my preferred booze cooler.
The Academy seemed to regard Woody Allen’s Blue Jasmine as a performer’s piece not worthy of a Best Picture nomination, despite having an open slot in their new-ish top ten. It’s performances, unique casting and apparently personal story (it bares some similarities to Woody Allen’s life, apparently) wasn’t enough to move the Academy, but if you haven’t seen Blue Jasmine yet, I suggest you take a look. Read the rest of this entry
More than any movie I’ve seen in the last few years, Dallas Buyers Club is a strong character study and performance piece for the actors, but as a movie over all, it has some problems. Read the rest of this entry
The 86th Academy Awards has come and gone, and it went about as expected – no surprises save one, and it wasn’t a big deal. Read the rest of this entry
I’ve tried to see all of the movies before, but like previous years, I just couldn’t get to it. So here we are: the 86th Academy Awards, and I’m making my picks from more of “I understand the people who actually get to vote” sort of view as well as based on what I’ve seen. And, rather than go through the entire list, I shall now most humbly present to you my picks for Best Picture and Best Directing for the 2014 Oscars. Read the rest of this entry
It’s that time again – time for more Disney Parks Versus: the only game on the internet where we make Disneyland and Disney World fight it out for supremacy. This time, it’s a straight up Jungle Cruise battle!
Oh, my believed Jungle Cruise: where puns and general stand up comedy goes to die. There’s nothing better than drifting down an artificial river with a bunch of strangers, starring at animatronic elephants, only to hear your guide remark, "There’s a site you don’t see every day: elephants bathing. I do, though. Everyday. About every twenty minutes." Read the rest of this entry
"Too Close" was released in 1997 by Next. It’s got a smooth, slick sound and full harmonies. I’ve never been one to have a great grasp on what people are actually saying, but "You’re making it hard for me" got my attention and I decided I needed to take a closer look at the lyrics.
I wonder if she could tell I’m hard right now, hmmm
OK, so much for metaphor. Guess we’re not burying the lead here, huh? I guess when they sing "You’re making it hard for me," they’re talking about ‘ol Mr. Penis.
Yeah, come on, dance for me baby, ha ha, yeah
Ut oh, you feel that? Alright
Come on, don’t stop now
You done did it, come on, uh, yeah, alright, hold on
"You done did it" kinda sounds like he’s blaming "baby" for his erection and she is now responsible for said erection. I gotta tell you, guys, I don’t think that argument is going to hold up at the club, at home or in court. Read the rest of this entry
I wouldn’t call Hyde Park on Hudson a riveting film, but it’s certainly watchable. It’s full of lots of fun and interesting performances, particularly from its leads: Bill Murray (as President Franklin Roosevelt), Laura Linney (FDR’s cousin, Daisy), Olivia Colman (as Queen Elizabeth – Movies and shows featuring Olivia Colman just keeps popping up, don’t they?) and Samuel West (King George VI).
Hyde Park on Hudson is really just a short snip of people’s lives. It gives us a chance to see a side of FDR that is not well known, but I think The King’s Speech covered all we’ll ever need on King George VI. I suppose the movie is about Daisy, but frankly (if you’ll pardon the FDR-ish pun), Daisy just isn’t that interesting and their story arc together isn’t especially compelling – this goes with for the ark between FDR and the royals, too as we know the hist and the movie doesn’t do much to heighten the tension. In fact, the movie’s settings and manner sorta downplay the lead up to the second World War, which seems impossible, but people fretting over eating hot dogs at picnics will do that to a picture.
Definitely check out Hyde Park on Hudson for the performances, but don’t expect a great film. I give it a 7.5 out of 10.
My vegan homeboys,
I am currently rockin’ new kicks: Saucony’s Jazz Low Pro Vegan sneakers. They seem to run around Nike sizes (I find that my shoe size fluctuates across brands… maybe that’s just me… I’m anywhere from a 9 to an 11), and I’m very happy with the fit and overall comfort. Not much to report, just thought I’d mention it. It’s hard to find vegan sneakers, and I didn’t even find these myself – Dr. Girlfriend is also sporting a pair, so we’ve doubled down on Saucony.
It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it – and I gotta say, Gardein’s Ultimate Beefless Sliders are pretty darn good. They remind me of those frozen White Castle burgers I used to eat when I was a kid – but less greasy. These burgers aren’t super dry, but I definitely recommend adding your favorite condiment. The box has some nutritional information, but it also says it’s vegan, and that’s good enough for me!
These bad boys get my recommendation – I’ll have to check out their chicken sliders soon, so stay tuned for that.
There is so much to like about Highlander - and yet, the movie is kinda silly. In many ways, it’s the perfect 1980s action-adventure-fantasy flick as it checks off the boxes while pushing the limits of the genre and is still careful not to go too far. It’s Godfather II styled interwoven past and present story telling is ambitious and a bit grand for a movie about guys who are compelled to cut each other’s heads off, but that’s 80s movies for you.
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There’s Alfred Hitchcock movies and then there’s Rebecca. It’s one of his older flicks (1940 – his first picture for Hollywood) that is consistently on everyone’s list of best Hitchcock movies, and it’s easy to see why. It flows like a lot of his other movies in terms of narrative, but the performances and revelations push this one above most of its peers.
Joan Fontaine and Laurence Olivier are great in the leads – especially Fontaine (Hitchcock sure did like his leading ladies, didn’t he?) Meanwhile, Judith Anderson is great as Mrs. Danvers, the head housekeeper. She’s completely over the top in a way I’ve never seen before… She’s over the top understated. It’s fascinating to watch. If you ever wondered how an actor could do so much by doing so little, Anderson is doing it here.
Why I’m writing about Creed is going to take a while to explain. I’ll do my best to make sense of it all.
It all started when I was editing the Green Lantern movie review post. I was fixing a grammatical error when I noticed this:
Lemme zoom in for ya.
I thought, “Holy potato balls!” and nearly did a spit take all over my monitor. The fragment, “with arms wide open” was a line from the Creed song of the same name, but as soon as I think Creed, I remember their up tempo hit, “Higher.”
This reference hadn’t been relevant for over ten years when the post was originally published, and now, it seemed even more ridiculous. I made the decision to delete it, but I didn’t – I never shall. I just kept looking at it and thinking.
Everyone here at CreativeJamie.com was saddened to learn that Harold Ramis had passed away after a battle with a rare illness. We loved watching him on the screen (Ghostbusters, Stripes), but his directorial accomplishments (Groundhog Day, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Caddyshack) were just as notable. Whether in front of or behind the camera, Harold Ramis always gave us something to smile about. The world is surely poorer for this loss.
A few weeks ago, I dropped a quick movie review of Nebraska which stated that the film was so good, there wasn’t much else for me to say. That Awkward Moment is the antithesis of Nebraska; it sucks so bad, there’s just not much to talk about. Zac Efron, Miles Teller (who manages to not annoy me in the way a similar character did in I Give it a Year - which isn’t nearly as good as this movie, by the way – if that means anything) and Michael B. Jordan are all fine actors and funny dudes, but even quality performances can’t save a screenplay this bad. The movie is centered around three dudes talking, and men just don’t talk this way, nor would women fantasize they would, leaving me to wonder exactly who this movie is for. The story isn’t even by the numbers – that’s giving it too much credit. This story is watercolors bad. That’s how predictable it is; I got up and went to the bathroom and missed about 3 minutes because I knew I wouldn’t miss anything I couldn’t figure out in five seconds and I was RIGHT! No one can save this movie from itself.
But, I’ve seen worse movies, so let’s give That Awkward Moment a 4 out of 10 and be done with it. (The movie’s title reminds me of that old Drifters song “This Magic Moment,” which is currently stuck in my head, so I can thank them for that.)
Here’s where the wheels start to come off.
If you’ll check my Batman post, you’ll see that while I love the movie, I’m quick to admit that it’s not without fault and I’m not the world’s biggest Tim Burton fan. Batman Returns is chock full of Burtony goodness, and it’s to the film’s detriment - but, if ever there was a movie that was saved by performances, it’s this one. Read the rest of this entry