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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (movie review)

If my expectations for the first Transformers movie were low, then they were dragging on the ground for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Then I saw the movie and my mind was forever changed about action movies.

Honestly, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen may be the most ridiculous, mixed up piece of bloated garbage I’ve ever seen in my life. I know the first one made a zillion dollars, but one has to wonder why anyone would want to work on this movie, let alone watch it -

Oh.

OK, Megan Fox is beautiful. That’s fine. She’s good at the ‘come hither’ thing that she does in this movie, and… whatever. I don’t think we’re expecting that to carry the movie. The problem isn’t Shia LaBeouf, either – the poor guy spouts enough exposition to make even Morgan Freeman blush. I must admit that they did solve the "I can’t tell who’s punching who" problem from the first Transformers movie, but that’s not enough to help this movie either.

The problem is that the story makes no sense and the pacing is too slow – these two problems create a head on collision of boring characters you don’t care about plodding toward a conclusion over a 150 minute running time covered in plot holes too ridiculous and numerous to name. Can anyone remember how this movie ends? I had to look it up because my memory is too bogged down in the two little racist Transformers, the Devastator’s male reproductive system and the stupidest death in cinematic history, only to be outdone by the stupidest resurrection in cinematic history that can only happen at the climax of the movie because that’s the way the script is written.

So yeah, I didn’t like this movie.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a boring mess that has no value beyond the comedy of watching poor Shia LaBeouf trying to explain the latest twist in the plot every five minutes and looking at Megan Fox. That’s it, and that’s not enough to sustain a two and a half hour movie. (Maybe Transformers movies could be 90 minutes going forward? Just saying, it’s not that complicated – just get in, get out, bing, bang, boom.) I’m giving this a 2 out of 10 and you can attribute the number being that high only to the fact that Transformers have some nostalgic value for me.

Loathsome!

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com and BomberBanter.com

Posted on April 30, 2014, in movie reviews and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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