Tia Mowry faces off against cardboard cutout villain Tori Spelling in The Mistle-Tones, a somewhat self-aware comedy that is billed as a musical but is completely and totally not a musical in any way. I know, the trailer says it’s a musical in the first five seconds, but it’s not a musical. They never sing as a means of communication or about the plot and never spontaneously break out into song – they’re always rehearsing for a singing showdown that will determine who will perform at a mall on Christmas Eve. Some of the arrangements of Christmas classics are impressive (particularly The Twelve Days of Christmas – this is one of the few renditions that didn’t make me want to stick a fork in my eyes), but at times, it’s just a bunch of people singing in unison, which was an odd choice. There are a few bits that don’t make much sense – like where the hell did that parade float come from? And I guess some of the other oddness is Christmas magic… Also, you can smell the Glee all over this flick, and not in a good way.
Anyway, settle down with a few spiked soy nogs and remember that Tia Mowry has a smile that can’t be matched and forget that her life goals are sorely misguided (now have another spiked soy nog) and check out The Mistle-Tones, which I’m sure ABC Family will be running into the ground today and tomorrow. I give it a 6 out of 10.