Ugh, let’s get this over with.
If you’re old enough to remember when the original Star Wars Trilogy was re-released in theaters in the 1990s, then George Lucas mucking with his movies is nothing new to you. I try to keep in mind that the man himself once said, “Movies aren’t finished, they’re abandoned,” and I can totally understand that sort of mantra, but at some point, it’s time to let go. From what I’ve been able to find splattered across this here thingy we call the internet, here are all of the changes to the Star Wars saga in all their pointless or horrible glory.
THE PHANTOM MENACE
- Yoda is digital now… I’m kind of OK with this one – wasn’t a big fan of the puppet’s look in this movie.
A NEW HOPE:
- They changed the noise Obi-Wan makes when he scares the Sand People away.
- When R2-D2 is hiding from the Sand People and Obi-Wan takes off his hood and says, “Come here, my little friend,” R2 is hiding behind a lot more rocks than he used to be… and I have no idea how he managed to wheel himself into that position
- Greedo still shoots first, but they changed the timing again – so it’s almost like they shoot at the same time, but Greedo is the worst shot in the galaxy and has never fired a weapon ever and has no interest in claiming the reward money from Jabba the Hut that he just said he wants so bad – otherwise, he could have shot him before he said, “Going somewhere, Solo?” Didn’t George Lucas take any basic logic courses in college?
RETURN OF THE JEDI
- The shot of Jabba’s Palace’s door is different for no reason I understand.
- Wicket blinks now… I used to spend a lot of time wondering why the the Ewoks didn’t blink.
- More Tie fighters show up during the beginning of the battle over Endor when Lando says, “Fighters coming in!”
- I’m actually OK with this one – in this case, the more then merrier.
And finally, the most horrifying of all:
Darth Vader Yells, “Noooooo!” before throwing the Emperor.
This is fucking garbage. It just sounds bad… ugh. It’s terrible. Nuff said.